Estate Sales & handling grief

A hard day has been bestowed upon me. A close relative has just passed and I am now the executive of the estate.  I try to lean on my immediate family, however they look to me for guidance; I am lost. My relative has just left me an entire home filled with their most cherished items containing many memories from my childhood and my entire families childhood, what do I do? How do I allow myself to grieve and also handle an estate with what seems like a grandiose task of things to do?

Encircling the grief of losing a loved one, I’m not only feeling the loss, but now I have to handle the process of letting go.  Within the letting go, I must release all connections to the physical contents of my loved ones home.  Within releasing, I have to go through each item, noting a story of this or that, thus more grief.  How can I possibly get through this? I’m in such a quandary.  What do I do next?

I make inquiries to friends as to what or how they sold their loved ones items and in turn sell the house?

I’m told I need to stage the home to get top dollar.  But do I?

I’m told I need to sell the contents before I sell the house and yet another says I must sell the house first so buyers can see where their furniture might fit in.  Which way do I turn?

I’m so sad, why am I the chosen one to sell our loved ones items? Why me?  Why me?  If I don’t handle things the right way, others in my family will be upset.  How do I do this effectively for all concerned?

How do we go through our family’s most cherished items and not feel like we’re doing something wrong.  This was their sanctuary.  This sofa held their children, their wonderments, their sadnesses.  How do we let go?  How do I let go?

Then to sell the home, various real estate persons are summoned in.  Within these appointments, sadness dwells within our hearts.  Are we doing the right thing?  We must sell the home because we can’t afford to pay all the bills.  Our own homes are full or too small to house more items.  And yet we don’t want to let go of our loved ones home or the things that caressed their character, their inner most need for that rug, that chair or that statue.

Ok, I’ve got it!  I’ll have the family come in to take what they want and we’ll sell the remainder of the items.  The real estate agent referred names of estate sales personnel. Many are questioned and the right one chosen.

Collectively my relatives wanted to sell all the items quickly.  We signed a contract to have a sale at the house, with a caveat to view setup items on the first day and take whatever we may have missed prior to setup.  When the sale actually finished, the relatives had second thoughts.  Saddened not only because our relative died but because we sold their items and we paid someone to remove the remainder items.  It’s a two-edged sword!  It had to be sold.

The sale went well.  However, several family members thought the sale should have brought more money and began questioning/harassing the commissioned help.  We complained but after rehashing our actions we realized the sales personnel did a great job.  They honored all our requests and now we feel bad about badgering the sales person.  Why did we do such a thing?  Grief, sadness and trying to let go is the culprit!

I hope the salesperson understands how sad we are and have been.  We feel awful for causing someone else such grief and all they did was their job.

Our loved one is gone.

We took what we wanted.

We had a sale.

It did well.

We can do nothing more and need to move on.

The circle of life just happened.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

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