Estate Sales & handling grief

A hard day has been bestowed upon me. A close relative has just passed and I am now the executive of the estate.  I try to lean on my immediate family, however they look to me for guidance; I am lost. My relative has just left me an entire home filled with their most cherished items containing many memories from my childhood and my entire families childhood, what do I do? How do I allow myself to grieve and also handle an estate with what seems like a grandiose task of things to do?

Encircling the grief of losing a loved one, I’m not only feeling the loss, but now I have to handle the process of letting go.  Within the letting go, I must release all connections to the physical contents of my loved ones home.  Within releasing, I have to go through each item, noting a story of this or that, thus more grief.  How can I possibly get through this? I’m in such a quandary.  What do I do next?

I make inquiries to friends as to what or how they sold their loved ones items and in turn sell the house?

I’m told I need to stage the home to get top dollar.  But do I?

I’m told I need to sell the contents before I sell the house and yet another says I must sell the house first so buyers can see where their furniture might fit in.  Which way do I turn?

I’m so sad, why am I the chosen one to sell our loved ones items? Why me?  Why me?  If I don’t handle things the right way, others in my family will be upset.  How do I do this effectively for all concerned?

How do we go through our family’s most cherished items and not feel like we’re doing something wrong.  This was their sanctuary.  This sofa held their children, their wonderments, their sadnesses.  How do we let go?  How do I let go?

Then to sell the home, various real estate persons are summoned in.  Within these appointments, sadness dwells within our hearts.  Are we doing the right thing?  We must sell the home because we can’t afford to pay all the bills.  Our own homes are full or too small to house more items.  And yet we don’t want to let go of our loved ones home or the things that caressed their character, their inner most need for that rug, that chair or that statue.

Ok, I’ve got it!  I’ll have the family come in to take what they want and we’ll sell the remainder of the items.  The real estate agent referred names of estate sales personnel. Many are questioned and the right one chosen.

Collectively my relatives wanted to sell all the items quickly.  We signed a contract to have a sale at the house, with a caveat to view setup items on the first day and take whatever we may have missed prior to setup.  When the sale actually finished, the relatives had second thoughts.  Saddened not only because our relative died but because we sold their items and we paid someone to remove the remainder items.  It’s a two-edged sword!  It had to be sold.

The sale went well.  However, several family members thought the sale should have brought more money and began questioning/harassing the commissioned help.  We complained but after rehashing our actions we realized the sales personnel did a great job.  They honored all our requests and now we feel bad about badgering the sales person.  Why did we do such a thing?  Grief, sadness and trying to let go is the culprit!

I hope the salesperson understands how sad we are and have been.  We feel awful for causing someone else such grief and all they did was their job.

Our loved one is gone.

We took what we wanted.

We had a sale.

It did well.

We can do nothing more and need to move on.

The circle of life just happened.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

Viewing The Aether’s or Alchemy…. Edmond of Papa Victor & Uncle Henry

Recently, for six weeks and while my crew and I diligently setup a large estate sale, I kept feeling a man near my left side.  There wasn’t a physical man on my left side, however the feeling of his presence continually resonated there.

There were many spots of time, where I’d feel this man just taking account of what is.  I knew he stood about 5’10, thin frame, grey hair.  However, I knew in his younger days, that he had light brown hair.  Why I knew this, I know not.  It’s just a knowing within the feeling of him standing beside me.  I also noted he wore a short sleeve plaid shirt.  The background, a pale cream with 1/2″ thick sage green stripes running horizontally across the shirt and a pinstripe lime green stripe running vertically down his shirt.  This man seemed calm, but took account mentally of what I moved about.  Never did I feel threatened or frightened.

After the first of two sales, Mid March, I met up with the owner of the home and her daughter.  They still had items to move out before the final sale, at which time we chatted a bit of what I saw, felt and or heard at the owners estate.

I conveyed to the ladies, the information of the man I saw, what he looked like and the plaid shirt.  They looked shocked, turned to each other and said that’s papa Henry!  He stood about 5’10, wore plaid shirts too!

I added that he seemed to take account of things.

The lady owner told me that he did bookkeeping for a company for most of his life.  Ah, that’s why the word account kept coming forward as he lingered around me.

They were thrilled that I had him to a tee!  I too, am thrilled with the accuracy that came to me!

The following week, both my daughters, Rachel and Ashley worked the sale with an added employee bonus….Ashley’s son and my only grandchild, Edmond pitched in.  Little Edmond, so calm, so sweet, charmed the masses.  I carried him about the 10,000 sq ft home, helping this and that one along the way.

The girls and I noted that Edmond would look around us and wave to no one that we could see.  Since we’re all metaphysical and note that babies came from the other side into particular parents….and that….we should pay attention to what transpires with each new little one, we then conversed about his waving beyond us.  Especially impactful, is the fact that no one was present on the other end of his wave.

Then on the main level at my checkout table and just below an open balcony, Edmond smiled upwards and began to wave.  Was it the owners papa Henry or Edmond’s papa Victor?

That evening before turning out the light and just as I lay down to drift off to dreamland, I asked if my father – papa Victor might have been at the sale, waving/chatting to Edmond.  Just at that moment, a gnat (the sign that my father is with me) appeared on my left hand.  A natural inclination caused me to swat it away, just as I realized my question was answered.  Yes, Edmond was waving to papa Victor up on the balcony.

There’s a great deal of information of how many see and connect with loved ones on the other side.  Some smell particular scents reflecting a loved ones favorite perfume or cologne.  Other’s note the presence of a butterfly at the precise moment they think of their loved one.  It’s all relative to what each one picks up on when in the presence of one that’s passed.  Paying attention is the key.

I know the masses might think me daft, however upon research over the years of happenings I’ve learned not to question, but to listen and give heed to what is.  Once I learned this process, I’ve felt, seen and or heard those on the other side.

Energy exists in all things.

Hmm, as I type this story down, the cursor keeps jumping to various sentences.  What is going on?  Is someone, from beyond, confirming what I’m typing?  Or is WordPress having issues?  I know from years of using a computer, that when I begin to tell a story of this nature, various `things’ happen that causes me to pay attention.

Soon I noted the cursor kept going back to my father Victor, Edmond’s papa, which of course, confirmed my knowing it was he that waved to sweet Edmond.

I love when this happens!

++++ESTATE SALES MADE EASY NEW COVER-MAIN   PS….Estate Sales Made Easy is at Barnes & Noble , Target, Amazon etc. for pre-sale.  Hard copy Aug, 2017.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

Estate Sales are Easy, however……

I grew up in a peaceful organized household, thus setting up an estate sale with all the organizing that’s needed, comes easily for me.

However, when I handle hoarders sales, it’s a bit tricky.  In that, each hoarder has their own way of hoarding.  Some just add piles and piles all over the home of things they like or purchase items because it’s on sale.  Others seek out special toys, coins etc that may be of value in their later years.  It’s extremely relative to whomever is hoarding.

Last year I handled a huge sale in the city.  The owners, now in their eighties, needing medical assistance finally moved into an assisted living establishment.  My sale took place over one weekend, as usual.  On Sunday’s sale date, the owner called me sixteen-times to inform me of what they didn’t want sold!  Mind you, we set aside many items throughout our setup for family to pick up and take to them.  Each call the owner very politely said Victoria this is….honey, please don’t sell the planters out back.  Please don’t sell the metal chairs out back. Please don’t sell the tea cups, the broken chair out back – we just love it!  (Note each item called about was broken, rusted or just no use to anyone any longer nor were they able to repair it at this juncture in their life).  I don’t recall each request, however the requests were always for something that no longer could serve them or anyone else.

Another sale housed tons and tons of salable items, however the owner needed to sell the home and told me to give it away and that she didn’t care what it brought.  However, I had to pay my help and make an income. The fact that she told me to give it away helped me considerably!  This comment allowed me to set up the thousands upon thousands of items without taking hours and hours to price it after set up, which she agreed to.  This enabled me to purge all items via verbal pricing each sale day.

massive-hoarder-mound-in-basement-main-room
Before setup of the family room

Customers love these types of sales, as do I.  Thus, this sale became a bag and pile-it-up sale.  Goodness, the customers flowed in, happy to rummage through the now organized lot.  Each one carried up an armload of items from the basement, which pleased me and the homeowner.  Meaning she wouldn’t have to hire workers to do what these paying customers were doing, ridding her very full home of all she and her partner bought and carried in over the years.

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After set up-floors are visible!

She was very pleased.  Of course, these type of sales don’t always bring in big bucks, however handling sales like these, are a blessing to each client that needs all items out to sell their home swiftly and move to a smaller place.

Another hoarders estate housed so many items in it’s over 5000 square foot home that it certainly was overwhelming!  When I’m commissioned to handle these types of sales, I pause, take it in, then begin silently figuring out how to set it up.  How many sales will it take?  This one housed many many toys in original packaging.  From experience, I knew I’d have to take two weeks to set it up, research and sell only the toys on one or two weekends, then sell the remainder contents, one of the following weekends.  They wholeheartedly agreed as they were perplexed as to how to get rid of everything.  This turned out to be the best sale I had that year!

I make Estate Sales Easy for those that scale down and for those that have lost a loved one.

estate-sales-made-easy-new-cover-hay-house-nailed-it-1-4-2017My book, Estate Sales Made Easy, is now on Amazon for pre-purchasing at: Estate Sales Made Easy

The hard copy comes out late summer 2017!  I’m so excited!  It’s published by the same publisher that publishes Chicken Soup for the SoulHay House publishing.  With an eBook coming out first!  Some time in the mix a live Webinar and a Radio show coming, dates/times to be announced.

Check it out!  Not only is this a how-to begin a business guide like mine, but it includes stories of energies I see, feel and often times hear within each estate.  Note the sparkle within the letter A denoting something more…..

Watch for more books on this subject, which also includes the stories each house offers up….

Victoria Gray

 

Who startled sweet little Edmond????

edmond-11-22-16-new-coatMonday, November 7th, I had the privilege to babysit my dear mild-mannered grandson Edmond, who beams sweet smiles when first we meet.  By noon, I fed and changed him plus I brought and set up a playpen in a small bedroom, at an estate I worked on, for a sale the following week.  He seemed unsettled in there when I laid him down for a nap.  After an hour or so, he gave in to a half hour nap.  When he woke, he screamed as though he’d been startled by something, however I was the only one on that floor.  Could it have been the 95-year old lady that recently died, checking on him while I worked?   I know not.

After calming his uneasiness, I carried him to the basement to instruct my workers on where I needed a table or other pieces to reside for the sale, always making sure sharp edges are out of the walk ways.  I held Edmond facing out like he likes on my right hip, with my right arm across his front.  He likes to know what’s happening!

As I walked to the right of the basement steps he let out a startled, high pitched scream, shaking in the wake!  I turned him around facing me to caress and calm him, which happily he did so rather quickly.   I entered the room just beyond to the right where he was calm and peaceful, however upon turning around to leave the room to walk past the same area where he screeched, the same scenario happened.

I knew he saw something, someone.

Within my many years of self education via many metaphysical, spiritual and angelic books, I knew there was definitely something more there, than the naked eye could see! I knew in my heart, either the lady that just passed or her husband that passed many years before, may have been there.  I quickly placed Edmond in his car seat, grabbed my camera and took photos of the location, from entering the back right room and then back out.  I made sure Edmond never went to that area again.

What I saw when I returned home to view the pictures, was indeed an orb of white light on the brown solid wood door.  There was nothing there that my flash could have hit off of to create it!  I’ve researched orbs many times, this was indeed an orb and not a flash of light.

I told his mother, Ashley about what transpired, she said mom, do you notice how he looks beyond you, I and others when we hold him? 

Yes, always. I think he sees someone from beyond.  Do you?

She replied yes, I do mom.  It’s odd, but I think, because he’s just recently on this side ‘others’ maybe coax him or guide him from beyond. 

Maybe papa helps him. 

But papa wouldn’t scare him. 

True, papa never would scare little bits.  It seems ‘others’ must come through to new babies and parents etc. in tune, that notice what is. 

We agreed before he was born, to pay attention to what he says and does.  Little ones often have invisible friends, however many parents aren’t privy to the reality of what is, within that situation.  There’s just so much more to understand, thus by paying close attention we might gain a better understanding from our new little ones.

All that day and a few of the other set-up days, I felt a lady with short grey hair always on  my left side, at my shoulder.  I saw a small framed lady of perhaps 5′ or so.  She seemed to just hang around to view what I was up to.  I never felt afraid, just a peaceful calm exuded from her.

Two days after the sale, I informed the daughter of seeing this lady asking if in fact her mother was short.

Oh yes, she was 5’1″ in her heyday and 5′ at the end.  She did have short grey hair and was very kind.  The three of us kids never heard a harsh word from her mouth.  She never cursed or even raised her voice at us.

I felt it was your mother, but of course, I never saw a picture till the last day of the sale, via a male neighbor.  He too, said all the neighbors enjoyed her company and really liked her.  He added that he’d make sure she came to the yearly neighborhood parties, stating that she liked them as much as they liked her.  What a treat it is to know kind gentle people.

I’ll pay close attention to what Edmond says and does.  I wish he could have talked at that moment, to tell me what he saw.  At least now at 5.5 months he says da-da, so he’s beginning to talk.  He chitter-chatters all the time just before napping.  Who knows what we’ll learn from him, just by listening.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

A Pearl of Patience

Like many days, I wake with various thoughts and today the title appeared just as I woke, which caused me to jot it down.

Have you ever thought of how a pearl is formed?  It’s grand entrance comes from extreme irritation!

‘Natural Pearls form when an irritant – usually a parasite and not the proverbial grain of sand – works its way into an oyster, mussel, or clam. As a defense mechanism, a fluid is used to coat the irritant. Layer upon layer of this coating, called ‘nacre’, is deposited until a lustrous pearl is formed’. Pearl formation

More information of a pearl is found on the above site, but what I found interesting is that the mussel has to be mature, three years old before the irritant implants.

Now, the human comparison….

When we’re little ones, we might get upset when our toy is taken or we’re hungry etc.  However, when mature these subtle and not-so-subtle irritants creep in before we realize it!  Like the layered coating that creates the pearl.  Educated or not, we receive all kinds of large and small irritants throughout our earthly stint.  Right?

Thus, this thought.  We allow all kinds of irritants, meaning friends, family, business associates, customers, clients, bosses, co-workers into our head space, if you will.  Now think about how often does someone step on our toes?  Frequently!  Too many times to enumerate, at least for me.

I’ve been taught to turn the other cheek, to help someone.  Give the benefit of the doubt.  Help others as often as you can.

Conversely, like the mussel, we have to coddle our thoughts of perhaps distaste with this one or that, because you see….we’re all imperfect.  Within that imperfection, we’re to be as perfect as possible.  Now how can that be?  It can’t be so.

The pearl receives irritation as an ongoing process till it becomes lustrous.

What or how should we treat our daily irritants?  Should we ‘think’ we are perfect in an imperfect world, because we aren’t or should we realize we’re allowing a grooming of a sort, like the pearl into a pearl of patience.

From time to time, at my estate sales, I encounter irritants.  I’ve learned to stand when I become irritated with a person that says my sales are priced too high just because they don’t want to pay the amount noted.  I stay very calm knowing my pricing is at the status quo and that the next person always states without exception that my prices are great!

Patience, is a virtue, to be sure.

Am I one day to become a pearl of patience?  I know not.  I will say this as I become younger, less irritants get under my skin/mussel.

We all need to become a pearl of patience.  Crime would cease!  Maybe heart attacks and strokes.

I think I will try harder to be a pearl of patience!

It certainly can’t hurt…..

Victoria Signature 9-17-15

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bob

Yesterday, dear kind Bob along with his wife Joyce, of whom I never met before, attended my sale.  His smile, so endearing, so sweet as was his wife’s.

Of course, I jumped out of my cashiers chair to hug this wonderful man.   We began chatting as usual, thus he opened with this brief tale.  You know I would have been a war hero, did you know that? 

Well, no I hadn’t heard. 

Yes, I would have received many medals of valor had it not been for the yellow streak down my back.

Of course, we all laughed and then he added.  You know I’ve told that to younger ones and they don’t get it.  Again we laughed with our wisdom filled acknowledgement of a yellow bellied skunk or a person who is a coward.

I mentioned to him, that I write down his stories while he chats, of which he was pleased.  He then added a bit more precise information to the previous blog I wrote titled WWII – Memories & Orbs.  Again, I wrote as quickly as I could so not to forget his fabulous stories!

I was in the service during the cold war years in Kawajlein, in the Marshall Islands. The U.S. sent in intelligence officers, from time to time, to check on us to see how we handled ourselves.  One time from the Kawajlein airport came several college professors, nuclear scientists to work in our section.  We were told to never tell anyone who anyone was.  You see, if enemy spies came onto the island or any place else during the cold war, any enemy would then know who to kill and would know what we might be working on.  No, we were given strict orders not to tell anything we knew no matter who asked.  We’d say….my orders are confidential.

But this guy in my section, when an unknown intelligence officer came by asking this and that question, acting like a friend, this private answered all his questions.  Thus telling all he knew about this scientist, that scientist, their titles etc.

We worked on atomic nuclear prototypes and weapons.  See, it was just a few years after WWII, during peace time, but still the war was fresh in our minds.  When the intelligence man asked me questions, I knew better than to say anything but my orders are confidential.  No explanation, no information given out.

The next day counter intelligence officers came to our quarters and swooped that guy up and out of the Navy!  Back to the states.  There’s no tolerance for that kind of behavior because lives are at stake.

He also mentioned that ships all around the Marshall Islands used for operation Crossroads, (check it out here) looked like ghost ships.  I grabbed one of the photos from the above website to note what Bob saw and spoke of.  Erie….he said, very erie.  All personnel had to be tested every week for radiation exuding from these ships.  Read the information, it’s really amazing what our brave men went through!

11-21-2016-blog-of-bob-and-operation-crossroads-1946
July 1, 1946 – Photos and information – noted released for viewing.

Thanks to Bob, I have another wonderful story to share!

Enjoy and learn from our elders.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

Winners stay focused!

I purchased a used book from my last estate sale titled, You Can You Will by Joel Osteen.  Within the pages I read this morn, I jotted notes of what I need to do to enable me to do more!  To win as winners do!

All of us are busy, no doubt.  However the key to success is staying focused.  The book encourages one and all to place a picture of what you want in full view throughout your home, office, vehicle, wherever you’ll see it daily.

He mentioned Jim Carey, writing a $10,000,000 check to himself for services rendered at a time when Mr. Carey drove an old car up the mountaintop to overlook Los Angeles.  It took several years of constant focus to bring about that ultimate goal for Jim Cary, but he certainly did it!

You Can You Will stated too, that if a friend, family member, work acquaintance wants you to do things their way, thus squelching your dreams, let them go!

My youngest, Ashley and I were chatting this morning as she drove to work, hands free of course, stating I’m amazed at how people just drive to work without taking a new lane, never going for the new opportunity.  I added that is how you move forward faster, by always seizing that moment of aha, taking you so much further than your peers.  It’s just the way Universal law works.  She concurred.

Within my years of learned wisdom I too stated a similar example.  I had a lady acquaintance for fifteen-years that pushed, nudged and tried to shove me to do certain things her way.  I fought her subconsciously all along, rarely doing what she wanted because I knew in my heart, her limiting dreams were not my dreams.

When I purchase a new car in 2014, she wanted to ride in it.  I took her for a spin when she asked how do you do this?  You have four kids too and no husband.  I knew all along what the difference was.  It was and is how I think.  When I want something, I put out my feelers, researching my goal, printing or sketching out the pictures in my mind.  Not how I’m to reach it because Universal energies guide me each and every time. I calmly said well, it only takes a bit of thinking BIG, not small.  I always see the glass half full and not half empty.  Moving forward to each and every wish, dream or goal is why I’m able to achieve what I want.  But with a caveat that the Universe takes care of the how.

I had to move past this negative wall of discontent and let her go January of 2015.

When I have a lot, I share.  When the coffers are a bit low, I dream more and things magically follow the yellow brick road.

My dream, for years was to write and get paid for it.  Since my father taught me how to read and write by age 4 1/2, it’s been my delight to find pens and paper, scribbling thoughts and sketches of what this or that is to be.

January 2015, was a major turning point for me.  I decided then and there that I would follow my writing dream!  Wow!  Within the week an email arrived from a major publishing company, Hay House, announcing an author’s cruise to Alaska with five seminars along the way.  I didn’t know how I’d pay for it, but the Universe did!  I promised myself that I’d pay cash for the whole thing, including a one-week trip to visit my son Caleb in California before returning home.

Viola!  I had several large estate sales that magically paid the entire trip plus money to spend any way I desired along the way.  I was the last to speak my truth, on the last seminar day, about how I make estate sales easy for those that are left behind.  They wanted a story, which I included a story of seeing a recently departed husband, feeling his angst for the wife he left here. (See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBTVhYtbHeI)  Low and behold, author & coach Cheryl Richardson and the CEO of Hay House liked what I said, giving me a book deal March of 2016 with the published book out late summer of 2017!

How’s that for allowing the universe to guide me?  I never thought of a cruise to Alaska ever!  Especially on my own!  But I knew that since I loved and read all the metaphysical books from Hay House I could, that a lady they roomed me with, would also be metaphysically well read and it would be a great match! And so it was.  We remain great friends calling each sis!  Sweet!


One note I jotted when I used to clean others new homes, in my twenties, read like this I stand in this foyer, breathing in all that is rich knowing that one day I too will build my dream home, and it is so.

I had no idea at the time that my dream home would arrive at age 45, but it did!

Even earlier, at age seventeen I met a very nice gentle man, nine years my elder who asked me out numerous times.  I hesitated because you see, I was not as worldly wise as he, which frightened me.  He drove a Mercedes, which I adored.  He kept on asking and eventually I went out with him.  We dated for about a year, off and on.  Not truly committed to him, I dated others, which he knew of.  During that year he asked me to marry him three times of which I declined.  However, I kept mentally stating I will have a Mercedes too and I’ll have it in the year 2000!  I never thought how that would happen because I was one of six children and had no college education of any kind back then.  I persevered learning a college education does not necessarily make one rich.  But seeking a goal, moving towards it, does!  I bought my first Mercedes January 2000!  I now own my third Mercedes.

Magic, yes!

Universal energies at work even though we may not realize it.  Indeed!

There’s many many examples of how staying focused, caused me to reach goals and dreams all of which are in The Secret of A Widows Vision….the vision from within.  It’s my intention that Hay House will publish this as well.  (I just need to send in my book proposal and let the magic begin again!)

Stay focused…..to win!

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

 

Kindness….pays it’s way!

Last weekend at an enormous tool/estate sale a kind lady named Betty came up to the checkout table loaded with goods to purchase.

Betty, back in March of this year thanked me for my kind words within the estate sale notices.  I asked her which words she liked.  She said you always add take care or be safe and no other estate sale company ever seems to care about their customers like you do!

I pondered her words, stood up, walked around my table and hugged her for the kindness of her compliment.

I do wish everyone a safe day or be safe till we meet at the sale.  It’s just my way.  I truly love my customers.  If not for them, my sales would not enable my livelihood, nor would I know the kindnesses they gift me in return.

Some, as mentioned in a previous post, state you’re the smiling estate sale lady.…and I love it!

You see, kindness goes a long way and yes it pays it’s own way via smiles, hugs and yes even with compensation.

When a business owner gets that one special feat, the business will soar!

My father’s barber business ran the same way.  So many walked into his shop happy even though it was standing room only, till he closed it at age 81.  Often he told me, honey I have the best job ever!  We laugh and cut up all day long and I get paid for haircuts and tips.  I just love my business. Because of his wonderful thriving business, he and mom took us on 2-week road trips every year I can remember in the late 50’s till I married in 1972.  Trips included the Smokey Mountains (at least a dozen times-this was where dad and mom honeymooned), to The Wisconsin Dells, to the Rocky Mountains, to Yankee Stadium 1957, to The Royal Gorge, to Niagara Falls and so many states in between.  All from the tips he saved each year!  I didn’t know then, but it was as if we were rich!

I have four children and have paid for numerous trips as well from estate sales and previously auctions to acknowledge what a grand gift our father gave us each year and the cost it entailed.

Last weekend, Betty with her hands full of goodies, asked how much?  I told her 30-dollars, however she handed me $40.  I said here’s your change.  She promptly said oh no, you get that as a tip.  You deserve it!  I just love you and how kind you are to everyone!  No, that’s yours!

I was taken back because tips are rarely given in this business until last Sunday.  Generally, it’s a thank you at the end of the sale by the homeowners or the real estate person who referred me.  But money, is usually spent on goods.

I’m pleased, that kindness pay’s it’s way!

Please show kindness to one and all.

Victoria name for blog posts 11-1-2015

 

 

Synchronicity

Synchronicity is a concept, first explained by psychiatrist Carl Jung, which holds that events are “meaningful coincidences” if they occur with no causal relationship, yet seem to be meaningfully related.  Wikipedia

Yesterday, turning the corner to my home, my son Blake with me.  We’d just driven 1 1/2 hours that normally would have taken 20-minutes, safely through a storm of 70 mile-an-hour winds. As I drove down the curvy road next to my subdivision, we paid close attention to our home peaking out between other neighboring homes.  Looking high above the other homes we wondered if anything was torn off the roof?  I.e. shingles, siding ripped off etc., all seemed well.

Goodness, the home in tact but rounding the corner to my home, now in full view, we saw this.Weeping Willow 1

Weeping Willow 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you can see, the picture on the left didn’t touch my home much to my amazement and thank-fullness!

The Synchronicity of it all is……Since early spring when this gorgeous Weeping Willow tree limbs began sprouting their greenery, I noted the dead side of the tree, thus causing me to wonder if I should have the whole thing removed to replace with a new tree!

Viola!  No one hurt and no home to rehab, the tree down, answer solved!

Sadly, homeowners insurance, paid like clockwork, will not cover the removal.  I often wonder why we have insurance if it doesn’t pay for this type of event too.

The good side of this is all are well, the tree can now be removed and perhaps a new Dogwood to take it’s place!

I love synchronicity!

Victoria

 

 

 

Tests & understanding

Today, while watching Joel Osteen’s energetic positive talk about how we need to not judge, but to understand.  I knew I was directed to listen to it.

I hadn’t watched his show in months because quite frankly, I’d forgotten what channel it was on.  Out of sight – out of mind.

But today….I woke thinking of my sister Debbie and all the turmoil she went through with her controlling husband.  Sadly, she died December 19, 1997 at the age of 43.  I knew in my heart he killed her spirit, which disabled her from speaking up throughout their 24-year marriage.  This holding-on-to-thoughts spawned ulcers, which spawned stomach cancer.

To me, her closest sister, I knew he killed her via this silent submissiveness, thus the anger.

I’ve vowed to write a book entitled My Sister’s Salvation, noting how free she is from him and a religious cult we grew up in.  Consequently, I began jotting down notes just after she died.  However, I was so angry at her husband for silently killing her spirit that years have gone by knowing I couldn’t write it in anger.  Hence, no book.

Today, Osteen’s talk encouraged me to see the reason why I hadn’t finished this task.  I needed to release the anger towards him and the thoughts that he silently killed my precious sister.

Today, I also had an aha moment.  I realized I’ve been placed in a similar situation via a son.   I wrote in m my journal: My son is a test.   Merely a test!  Will I write with anger or peace?  Perhaps I had to connect the dots to be able to feel a similar angst like my sister may have felt and the giving up feeling she must have held.  I won’t give up, I need all my children.  My sister gave up and gave in to release this life and left her three children.

Osteen’s message was to see that others are not in charge of who we are, but we are in charge of us.  Others may judge us, but in the end its what we think that makes or breaks us.  He spoke of the prodigal son returning to his father’s home not knowing how he’d be received.  Lot’s of anger, judging and gossip had ensued before his return.  His father, however, knew he was still his son no matter what had happened and greeted this son with open arms.  Rejoicing in his return.

Often, each one of us stray but without the kindness of a parent, sibling or friend we might not have pulled through that test.

Thus the lesson I’ve learned today, is to finally write my sister’s book with a positive lilt, without anger or malice.  Setting aside judgement of her husband and my son for their ways, but to realize each test aides us with understanding to help others along our life’s journey, helping us in the wake.

Victoria